


(Not Always)Related Artemis Fowl Drabbles

by comic_books_and_bars



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Cross Species Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Oblivious Foaly, Oblivious Root, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 16:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4145010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comic_books_and_bars/pseuds/comic_books_and_bars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of sometimes (but not always) related drabbles from my own little version of the Artemis Fowl verse. More tags/warnings will be added as chapters are posted. Rating may go up in later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Not Always)Related Artemis Fowl Drabbles

**Author's Note:**

> In which Foaly and Root are oblivious. Also known as 'everyone knows you two are married, so get with the program already'.
> 
> Unbeta'd. Comments and (constructive) criticisms are always welcome!

Foaly was a simple centaur. All he expected from his life from a young age was to be able to pursue technology and invent to his heart’s content. Nowhere in his wildest dreams did he imagine getting married to a most accomplished and beautiful mare. Caballine was the epitome of class and poise. As a journalist for PPTV she was the face of the evening news. Foaly didn't particularly care for the news but he would always watch when she was on.

Centaurs were not monogamous creatures by nature, but Caballine was a modern fairy and did not like the idea of another mare in the house. This was not to say that she wasn't polyamorous. On the contrary, the genetic predisposition just went in a different direction. She was quite pleased with her husband and could easily be with only him for the rest of her years.

She was a journalist, so by nature she was observant. It didn't take much for her to see that, while Foaly was head over hooves in love with her, she shared his heart with another. The problem was that Foaly and the other object of his affection were about as oblivious to this fact as a dwarf to his own B.O.

Said fairy was none other than Recon Cmdr. Julius Root. The two bickered like an old married couple but would stick up for the other in an instant. The way they looked at one another when they thought no one was looking spoke volumes. Root would lose his normal purple hue and develop an odd, soft smile. It generally didn't last long as his temper had a hair trigger and someone was always doing something stupid. Foaly would outright grin and sigh after Root complimented his work or any time they talked really.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one to notice this she decided to bring her findings to Holly over their weekly smoothie date. As it turned out Holly had noticed this since she joined Recon and got to know Foaly. She confessed she was a bit confused when Foaly first told her that he was dating Caballine because she thought he was gay. This caused Caballine to nearly spew her carrot and nettle smoothie from laughing so hard. There might have been a comment about Foaly’s love of feminine anatomy that caused Holly to pretend to gag.

By the time they finished their drinks they hatched a plan, Operation Old Married Couple, to get Foaly and Root to admit their feelings and have sex already. The plan involved setting them up on dates and leaving (not so) subtle clues to get them to realize that the other was interested. It all got a bit over the top when Holly brought Artemis in to plant evidence on Foaly’s computer.

The entire situation came to a head when they were out of after work drinks. Foaly turned to Root and pointed a carrot he had just pulled out of his drink directly in the commanders face before telling him that his new haircut was nice and his stomach was sexy in his uniform. The entire group, which was comprised of Root, Holly, Vinyáya, Caballine, and Arissa Grey (a female elf from Retrieval), fell silent. Caballine was the first to find her voice and breathed out a pleased ‘finally’.

This snapped Root out of his momentary trance and he stared between Caballine and Foaly. He didn’t seem to know how to respond, seeing that they were in public, and he had a reputation to uphold. He rose from his seat to move closer to the two centaurs before quietly telling them that if they wanted to discuss this privately he would make breakfast and they could come over after Foaly was a bit more sober.

Needless to say they were over for breakfast the following day after Foaly stopped freaking out over his drunken confession.

Foaly and Root were late for work… and Root may or may not have had a slight limp.


End file.
